Our mind is programmed

Our minds are programmed to judge, assess, and evaluate. Important skills to have. Without the ability to judge, assess, and evaluate, we wouldn’t be able to do our jobs, drive a car or decide what to wear in the morning. But sometimes we use those powers to compare ourselves to others or compare ourselves to where we think we should be in our careers and our lives at this moment in time.

When we compare 

In certain situation, comparing ourselves to others may be inspiring, motivating and may show us the way forward to achieving greatness. However, it can also zap self-esteem, disempower and discourage us. 

Pay attention to what your mind says to you

When we see as a role model we want to emulate our mind says things like:

• Wow, she is amazing
• I want to be like her
• I know I can do it, she has shown me the way
• I am going to ask her about her journey so I can learn more

When we think this way, we feel energized, inspired and motivated.

When our mind is comparing to see how we measure up, it says things like:

• She is so much further ahead than me
• I should be further ahead, I will never get there
• She is so much better than me
• Why bother

A bit disempowering and definitely not how we would speak to the children in our life.

The competition

I saw this disempowering mindset play out recently with my two favourite little girls, sisters that are 3 years apart. They were competing with each other to see who could stuff a pillow in a pillowcase fastest. They were having lots of fun until the fateful comparison occurred. The younger sister looked at her older sister and noticed she was not measuring up to her sister’s pillow stuffing. Her face immediately changed from empowerment to despondency, the laughter stopped and she gave up. It took a few minutes of cheering and encouragement to get her back into the game. She wasn’t the faster pillow stuffer but she got it done and her pillow looked like something I would want to sleep on.

Things to remember

• Don’t compare yourself
• Stay focused on what is important to you
• Strive for excellence rather than perfection
• Notice what is going on in your mind. Is it supportive or disempowering?
• If it is disempowering then change the program:
  • Reassure your critical voice that you can do it
  • Cheer yourself on
• Be persistent

Remember you are amazing, you are capable and you are worth celebrating.

Alison