I had a taste of failure recently and it was so sweet. Failure can feel like defeat and yet it is just what you need to get better.

We would have never learned to walk if we weren’t up for a bit of failure.

“Failure is not a bad thing. We are so afraid of failure, but failure is what we need to succeed.”
~ Lisa Belanger

I was given the opportunity to present a new talk to a networking group that I belong to and it was a failure. I forgot even how to start. It is not often that I don’t succeed with public speaking and yet there I was stammering.

When I asked questions in order to interact with the audience, their answers were not what I anticipated. My brain started working overtime, assessing what they were saying, realizing it didn’t match what I had anticipated and having a bit of a freakout. I began to analyze what I was saying as I was saying it and giving myself suggestions for how to improve the talk while I was in the midst of giving the talk. Not the best plan of action in front of an audience.

I was living some people’s greatest fear and it wasn’t so bad.

I acknowledged to myself that this was an experiment. I was doing this to get feedback and to get better. I could sit here and feel terrible about my performance or I could accept the situation for what it was, not my best work. This was not a life and death situation. It was just a moment in time that would pass. I would be just fine and my next talk would be so much better.

When I finished I received some of the best feedback I had ever heard. The feedback was empowering. It motivated me to revise my presentation and try again.

So what was it that made me feel sweetness in the face of failure?

The group of women I was presenting to. They:

• Gently pushed me outside my comfort zone
• Held a compassionate space for me to experiment
• Reassured me when I stumbled
• Encouraged me to keep going
• Validated the importance of my message
• Let me know they related to my experience
• Brainstormed with me on ways to improve things

What I could have labeled as a disaster became an opportunity to grow and improve. It reminded me of the importance of creating supportive spaces for others to experiment, try, fail, learn and try again.

How could you create a space where failure feels sweet?

1. Start with yourself, create a compassionate place within yourself that accepts failure as an important part of personal growth.
2. Look for ways to create a compassionate and supportive place for others to experiment and grow.
3. Surround yourself with people who compassionately stand for you and others and who know how to make failures so sweet that you want to try again.

What would you like to experiment with to help you grow more fully into who you are meant to be?

I always love hearing your feedback. If you would like support experimenting. Reach out to me here.

Alison

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