Create Clear Boundaries

As an empathetic high performer, you may work at being everything to everyone. You have an incredible ability to crank out work, address situations and help everybody out. In the process, you may neglect yourself. The result is at best overwhelm, at worst burnout. The best way to protect yourself is to set clear boundaries.

Boundaries are what we consciously create around ourselves to protect our energy so you can focus on what really matters to you.
Limits are what we unconsciously place around ourselves because of what we believe about ourselves.So healthy boundaries are things that we want and limits are things we want to remove. If you jump into action when anybody has a problem or in anticipation of them having a problem, it is time to create healthy boundaries.

How to create clear boundaries

Know what really matters to you
Once you know what is really important to you, make it a priority. Schedule time for what’s important and protect that time so you can focus on what really matters.

Hold others capable
People are more capable than you think. Rather than solving their problems for them, empower them to solve their own problems. Let them know you care about them, you appreciate them (for how capable they are) and then help them get curious about how they could solve the problem on their own.

Set clear limits on giving your time away
If people routinely encroach on your time, let them know you can give them X minutes of your time right now or let them know you are working to a deadline and could they schedule time with later.

Be conscious about which meetings you attend
When you get a random meeting request that is not clear, ask questions:

What is the purpose of the meeting?
Why have you been invited?
What is the hoped-for outcome of the meeting?
Does it make sense to attend based on what really matters to you and your role?

Then decide if you need to attend. You can always suggest resources and provide expertise in an email rather than attending. You can also just say “no”.

Be Clear about what is a “no” for you
A fuzzy “no” is usually accompanied by a lot of explanation and perhaps feelings of guilt or not wanting to hurt someone else’s feelings and results in nobody really knowing what your answer is. Being clear about what is a “no” for you will make your life easier as well as the person you are saying “no” to. A clear “no” goes something like this: “That’s a no for me, thanks for asking.” or “That’s a no for me this time, please ask me again. I am interested.”

Assess requests for help
Don’t feel you have to jump in response when someone asks for your help. Consider:

What really matters to you.
Your existing workload and deadlines.
The urgency of what is being requested.
When you can actually complete the task based on what is already expected of you.
If it is your supervisor making the request, get clarity about what the priorities are.

Remember clear boundaries shift you from surviving to thriving and open space for you to say, “yes” to what really matters.

Alison